MANAGING YOUR EMOTIONS BIBLICALLY
By Peter Kayongo
The Bible says in 1 Peter 4:2, “From now on, then, you must live the rest of your earthly lives controlled by God’s will and not by human desires”.
What are human desires? They’re your emotions and your affections my dear sisters and brothers. Once you become a Christ-follower, your life should be controlled by God’s will, not by how you feel. Let’s say you go to a restaurant for example, and the service is extremely slow. You wait a long time to be served, and then a couple comes in some minutes after you and gets their meals before you do. You become increasingly irritated until you feel something welling up inside you.
If I ask you,What’s the real reason you’re feeling that way? You’re hungry!
Is it true? Yes. You’re frustrated because the service is slow. But have you considered if your emotion is helping or hurting? Do you get better service by getting angry with the server? Absolutely not.
Does nagging work? Has it ever worked? When somebody tells you all the things you’re doing wrong, does it make you want to change? No! All it does is make you defensive.
Whenever you ask yourself these three questions my dear friend, you get a better grip on why you feel the way you do and what you need to do to help the situation.That’s called managing your emotions. For your information brethren, God did not leave us to handle our emotions on our own. He didn’t say, “Here, I am giving you this jumble of confusing feelings. Hope you can figure them out on your own.” No, God has given us everything we need in his Word to learn how to manage our feelings and glorify him with our emotions.
“Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. “(1 Peter 1:13)
God designed your emotions to be gauges, not guides. They’re meant to report to you, not dictate you. The pattern of your emotions (not every caffeine-induced or sleep-deprived one!) will give you a reading on where your hope is because they are wired into what you believe and value — and how much. That’s why emotions like delight (Psalm 37:4), affection (Romans 12:10), fear (Luke 12:5), anger (Psalm 37:8), joy (Psalm 5:11), etc., are so important in the Bible. They reveal what your heart loves, trusts, and fears. At Desiring God we like to say pleasure is the measure of your treasure, because the emotion of pleasure is a gauge that tells you what you love.
But because our emotions are wired into our fallen natures as well as into our regenerated natures, sin and Satan have access to them and will use them to try and manipulate us to act faithlessly. That’s why our emotional responses to temptation can seem like imperatives (you must do…) rather than indicatives (here’s what you’re being told). Just remember, that’s deceit.
Emotions aren’t imperatives; they’re not your boss. They’re indicatives; they’re reports. That’s why Paul wrote, “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions” (Romans 6:12).
So get ready today. “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). He will make promises to and/or threats against you. He will likely try and tap into your weak areas of unbelief and you may find your emotions surging in the wrong direction.
When that happens my dear sister or brother reading this message,don’t be overly impressed. Remember that your emotions are gauges, not guides. Let them tell you where the attack is being made so you can fight it with the right promises. And go to a trusted friend for prayer, perspective, and counsel if you need to.
And remember that this “light momentary affliction is preparing for [you] an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison” (2 Corinthians 4:17) and very soon, it’s going to be over. And God, your Great Reward, will be all the inheritance you will ever want forever.
How We Need to Train Our Emotions
Does God expect us to train our feelings? It appears that he does. He commands them through scriptures.
God commands obedience “from the heart” (Romans 6:17) — the vessel we often judge as ungovernable. He, unlike the mother, tells us what to fear and what not to fear (Luke 12:4–5); what we must and must not delight in (Philippians 4:4); what we must abhor (Romans 12:9); that we must never be anxious (Philippians 4:6); and how we can and cannot be angry (Ephesians 4:26).
When we only deal with our actions, we are left with moralism, not Christianity. Outward conformity in behavior alone is meaningless when inside we are full of emotional uncleanness (Matthew 23:27). God searches hearts (Romans 8:27).
How does he teach us to love, hate, and feel in line with godliness? He gives us at least four helps I would like to share with you below.
1. HIS SON
The often-assumed foundation for all godliness is the gospel. No reformation of emotions or resolve for restraint means anything if we stand condemned for past anger, lust, and coldness. But the good news for all who struggle with inordinate passions towards wrong (or constipated passions towards good) is the person and work of Jesus Christ, the perfect-feeler, who lived the emotional life we couldn’t and suffered the emotion-crushing wrath on our behalf, all in order to make us new down to the core of our emotions. Has there been a more emotionally distraught cry than “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46)?
2. HIS SPIRIT
Furthermore, to train us, he gives himself (Romans 8:9). We do not feel alone. We, beyond all comprehension and expectation, become “partakers of the divine nature” (2 Peter 1:4), including distinctly new affections than we experienced before (2 Corinthians 5:17). God has given us his own emotion-giving-and-governing Spirit to produce affectional fruit pleasing to God (Galatians 5:22–23): love (instead of hate), joy (instead of despair), peace (instead of turmoil), patience (instead of anger), kindness (instead of severity), goodness (instead of badness), faithfulness (instead of temperamentality), gentleness (instead of harshness), self-control (instead of passions-control). He addresses our emotional lives at the source: our hearts.
3. HIS PEOPLE
God does not surround us with self-help books, daytime talk shows, or yoga classmates to balance our emotional states. He surrounds us with his people.
4. HIS WORD
Finally, God reveals capital “R” Reality through his word to be believed by faith (Hebrews 11:1). The peace of Christ rules in our hearts when his word dwells richly in us (Colossians 3:15–16). For example, in the span of four verses, Paul points us to one aspect of Reality that, when believed, will liberate us from anxiety and impart undauntable joy.
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:4–7)
He doesn’t merely say, “Sing in the Lord,” or, “Dance in the Lord,” or, “Smile in the Lord,” but, “Rejoice in the Lord.” And when ought we to rejoice? Always. When ought we to stop? Never. When should we be anxious? Never. Why? Because God’s reality never stops giving us reason to: The Lord is at hand. The world’s nihilistic reality says that if you are single, wronged, jilted, or oppressed, you have a right to be unhappy. Paul thinks differently, because he inhabits a different world.
He calls happy resilience in the face of suffering reasonable: “Let your reasonableness be known” (Philippians 4:5). When tragedy strikes and we have reason to despair of life itself, we have — even then — cause to feel delight before a watching world — “sorrowful, yet always rejoicing” (2 Corinthians 6:10). He is near to hear our prayers. He is near to comfort us. Nothing can separate us from his love (Romans 8:37–39). When sorrows roll like sea billows, we still have cause to sing, “Even so, it is well with my soul!” Over the shoulder of every pain stands our heavenly Father.
Reality like this will change how we respond when denied whatever backpacks we hoped for in this life.
God gives us the wonderful gift of emotions to color life. He is a feeling God, and those made in his image are not robots. But while feelings are wonderful servants, they are terrible gods. When they flow — ungoverned by God’s Spirit and God’s Reality — they make us threats both to others and to ourselves.
In a world given to untethered emotions and cold apathy, a world impassioned by trivial things and unfeeling about eternity, we have a stunning opportunity: to let our reasonableness be known. We can live for God’s glory in God’s world as citizens of the next, loving what he loves, hating what he hates, living, laughing, and crying in such a way as to reflect the highest Reality: God is. He is at hand, and he keeps those in perfect peace whose minds are stayed not on their feelings, but on him (Isaiah 26:3).
Conclusion
When sinful emotions “cling so closely” (Heb. 12:1), we might be tempted to think that such feelings are too strong after all—that real change isn’t possible. But the truth is that “it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure” (Phil. 2:13).
Even when we don’t see it—even when we don’t feel it—God is lovingly at work in our lives through the power of the Holy Spirit to help us change our emotions.
Be blessed!!
Peter Kayongo
+256772425596
By Peter Kayongo
The Bible says in 1 Peter 4:2, “From now on, then, you must live the rest of your earthly lives controlled by God’s will and not by human desires”.
What are human desires? They’re your emotions and your affections my dear sisters and brothers. Once you become a Christ-follower, your life should be controlled by God’s will, not by how you feel. Let’s say you go to a restaurant for example, and the service is extremely slow. You wait a long time to be served, and then a couple comes in some minutes after you and gets their meals before you do. You become increasingly irritated until you feel something welling up inside you.
If I ask you,What’s the real reason you’re feeling that way? You’re hungry!
Is it true? Yes. You’re frustrated because the service is slow. But have you considered if your emotion is helping or hurting? Do you get better service by getting angry with the server? Absolutely not.
Does nagging work? Has it ever worked? When somebody tells you all the things you’re doing wrong, does it make you want to change? No! All it does is make you defensive.
Whenever you ask yourself these three questions my dear friend, you get a better grip on why you feel the way you do and what you need to do to help the situation.That’s called managing your emotions. For your information brethren, God did not leave us to handle our emotions on our own. He didn’t say, “Here, I am giving you this jumble of confusing feelings. Hope you can figure them out on your own.” No, God has given us everything we need in his Word to learn how to manage our feelings and glorify him with our emotions.
“Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. “(1 Peter 1:13)
God designed your emotions to be gauges, not guides. They’re meant to report to you, not dictate you. The pattern of your emotions (not every caffeine-induced or sleep-deprived one!) will give you a reading on where your hope is because they are wired into what you believe and value — and how much. That’s why emotions like delight (Psalm 37:4), affection (Romans 12:10), fear (Luke 12:5), anger (Psalm 37:8), joy (Psalm 5:11), etc., are so important in the Bible. They reveal what your heart loves, trusts, and fears. At Desiring God we like to say pleasure is the measure of your treasure, because the emotion of pleasure is a gauge that tells you what you love.
But because our emotions are wired into our fallen natures as well as into our regenerated natures, sin and Satan have access to them and will use them to try and manipulate us to act faithlessly. That’s why our emotional responses to temptation can seem like imperatives (you must do…) rather than indicatives (here’s what you’re being told). Just remember, that’s deceit.
Emotions aren’t imperatives; they’re not your boss. They’re indicatives; they’re reports. That’s why Paul wrote, “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions” (Romans 6:12).
So get ready today. “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). He will make promises to and/or threats against you. He will likely try and tap into your weak areas of unbelief and you may find your emotions surging in the wrong direction.
When that happens my dear sister or brother reading this message,don’t be overly impressed. Remember that your emotions are gauges, not guides. Let them tell you where the attack is being made so you can fight it with the right promises. And go to a trusted friend for prayer, perspective, and counsel if you need to.
And remember that this “light momentary affliction is preparing for [you] an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison” (2 Corinthians 4:17) and very soon, it’s going to be over. And God, your Great Reward, will be all the inheritance you will ever want forever.
How We Need to Train Our Emotions
Does God expect us to train our feelings? It appears that he does. He commands them through scriptures.
God commands obedience “from the heart” (Romans 6:17) — the vessel we often judge as ungovernable. He, unlike the mother, tells us what to fear and what not to fear (Luke 12:4–5); what we must and must not delight in (Philippians 4:4); what we must abhor (Romans 12:9); that we must never be anxious (Philippians 4:6); and how we can and cannot be angry (Ephesians 4:26).
When we only deal with our actions, we are left with moralism, not Christianity. Outward conformity in behavior alone is meaningless when inside we are full of emotional uncleanness (Matthew 23:27). God searches hearts (Romans 8:27).
How does he teach us to love, hate, and feel in line with godliness? He gives us at least four helps I would like to share with you below.
1. HIS SON
The often-assumed foundation for all godliness is the gospel. No reformation of emotions or resolve for restraint means anything if we stand condemned for past anger, lust, and coldness. But the good news for all who struggle with inordinate passions towards wrong (or constipated passions towards good) is the person and work of Jesus Christ, the perfect-feeler, who lived the emotional life we couldn’t and suffered the emotion-crushing wrath on our behalf, all in order to make us new down to the core of our emotions. Has there been a more emotionally distraught cry than “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46)?
2. HIS SPIRIT
Furthermore, to train us, he gives himself (Romans 8:9). We do not feel alone. We, beyond all comprehension and expectation, become “partakers of the divine nature” (2 Peter 1:4), including distinctly new affections than we experienced before (2 Corinthians 5:17). God has given us his own emotion-giving-and-governing Spirit to produce affectional fruit pleasing to God (Galatians 5:22–23): love (instead of hate), joy (instead of despair), peace (instead of turmoil), patience (instead of anger), kindness (instead of severity), goodness (instead of badness), faithfulness (instead of temperamentality), gentleness (instead of harshness), self-control (instead of passions-control). He addresses our emotional lives at the source: our hearts.
3. HIS PEOPLE
God does not surround us with self-help books, daytime talk shows, or yoga classmates to balance our emotional states. He surrounds us with his people.
4. HIS WORD
Finally, God reveals capital “R” Reality through his word to be believed by faith (Hebrews 11:1). The peace of Christ rules in our hearts when his word dwells richly in us (Colossians 3:15–16). For example, in the span of four verses, Paul points us to one aspect of Reality that, when believed, will liberate us from anxiety and impart undauntable joy.
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:4–7)
He doesn’t merely say, “Sing in the Lord,” or, “Dance in the Lord,” or, “Smile in the Lord,” but, “Rejoice in the Lord.” And when ought we to rejoice? Always. When ought we to stop? Never. When should we be anxious? Never. Why? Because God’s reality never stops giving us reason to: The Lord is at hand. The world’s nihilistic reality says that if you are single, wronged, jilted, or oppressed, you have a right to be unhappy. Paul thinks differently, because he inhabits a different world.
He calls happy resilience in the face of suffering reasonable: “Let your reasonableness be known” (Philippians 4:5). When tragedy strikes and we have reason to despair of life itself, we have — even then — cause to feel delight before a watching world — “sorrowful, yet always rejoicing” (2 Corinthians 6:10). He is near to hear our prayers. He is near to comfort us. Nothing can separate us from his love (Romans 8:37–39). When sorrows roll like sea billows, we still have cause to sing, “Even so, it is well with my soul!” Over the shoulder of every pain stands our heavenly Father.
Reality like this will change how we respond when denied whatever backpacks we hoped for in this life.
God gives us the wonderful gift of emotions to color life. He is a feeling God, and those made in his image are not robots. But while feelings are wonderful servants, they are terrible gods. When they flow — ungoverned by God’s Spirit and God’s Reality — they make us threats both to others and to ourselves.
In a world given to untethered emotions and cold apathy, a world impassioned by trivial things and unfeeling about eternity, we have a stunning opportunity: to let our reasonableness be known. We can live for God’s glory in God’s world as citizens of the next, loving what he loves, hating what he hates, living, laughing, and crying in such a way as to reflect the highest Reality: God is. He is at hand, and he keeps those in perfect peace whose minds are stayed not on their feelings, but on him (Isaiah 26:3).
Conclusion
When sinful emotions “cling so closely” (Heb. 12:1), we might be tempted to think that such feelings are too strong after all—that real change isn’t possible. But the truth is that “it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure” (Phil. 2:13).
Even when we don’t see it—even when we don’t feel it—God is lovingly at work in our lives through the power of the Holy Spirit to help us change our emotions.
Be blessed!!
Peter Kayongo
+256772425596